Mostly Not Here
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That way of thinking becomes very dangerous when sexual violence is mixed in. When fat women are raped, they’re often told they should be grateful that anyone wanted them, or, alternatively, disbelieved because it doesn’t seem plausible that anyone would want them ‘enough to rape them.’ These arguments not only rely on the dangerous myth that rape is about uncontrollable sexual desire (it’s not), but also propagate the message that fat women’s bodies aren’t valuable enough to the culture for their violation to be taken seriously.
Jaclyn Friedman, What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl’s Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety (via khaleesi)
I may have reblogged this before, but it bears repeating.
(via bigfatfeminist)
(via lipsredasroses)
Completely willing to bet I’m going to lose followers that I really like.
There are many things in this text that I agree with. Let me start by stating my position regarding this discussion, as the original poster so admirably did. I am a western, white, non-Muslim feminist. My gender identity is a bit unclear at the moment, but I am seen as a woman. I do not claim to understand Islam and I will warmly welcome any corrections on my knowledge (or assumptions) about this or any other religion. I’m trying to be a part of this discussion and if you feel that it is not my place, please say so and I will not continue. I understand that it is risky to talk about the hijab and covering a woman’s body when I’m not a Muslim, but I feel that if groups of people only talk amongst themselves, it takes longer to build discussion between different groups.
I respect a person’s choise to wear the hijab and I believe it is, or can be, a feminist statement. The point in which my thoughts differ from those of the original poster is this: “How in the world is it that giving men exactly what they want (an uncovered woman), feminism? How is that empowering? Immediately men aren’t looking at your eyes, at your mind, to see how deep the oceans in your conciousness go, but at your body - you’re physical manifestation and it only increases the fetishization of the female body over the female mind in society that has existed for eons.”
The problem I see in this statement (and please let me say that it is my opinion and might be due to my misunderstadings or ignorance) is that it still defines women and women’s actions through the eyes of men. It leaves the responsibility of not being treated as an object to the women, not the ones who are doing the objectification. It states that women should help the men to see them as human beings with minds and conciousnesses by covering their body. It doesn’t challenge the long fetishization of womens’ in itself, but offers a solution that makes less visible the highly sexualized body of a woman.
The other point I wanted to make is that women don’t dress only for men. Often, their style of dressing has nothing to do with men. Thus, wearing little clothing may be of personal importance to a woman or express their identity. In this case, the woman should not face a reality in which they are only respected if they dress in a way that doesn’t express their identity. Today, they often do, but I feel that feminism should be changing this reality.
The way I see it (again, from my very limited point of view) is that there are higher structures to be deconstructer. Wearing a hijab can be a feminist statement, but wearing little clothing can be one as well. Expressing your identity through your clothing and showing that you choose how other people see your body or do not see it, is a part of feminism to me. The right to be treated as a human being should not depend on your clothing, and the obligation to treat every human being with respect should be so deep in all our cultures that we do not need to demand it.
The hijab may well become a symbol of a new feminism. I see that it is a strong statement about women’s right to their own bodies. But I sincerely hope that this new feminism will demand that the constructions that make the clothing of a woman such a big deal, are deconstructed.
I hope I haven’t made a complete fool of myself. :) I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts.
So, the heterosexuals are on the swingset, swinging back and forth like most people do.
And then there are the homosexuals swinging, like, side to side or something.
The bisexuals are sort of alternating between the two, and the pansexuals are just twisting their swing up in a knot and crashing into everyone like “fuck the police i do what i want”
And then the asexuals are just chilling out in the sandbox all alone, like: HEY GUISE, LOOK AT THE CASTLE I MADE GUISE, LOOK GUISE IT HAS A MOTE. GUISE. LOOK.
Snrk. I know I’ve seen this before but it hasn’t stopped being entertaining.
This is the best thing I’ve read all day.
Its telling that my favorite thing to do on a swing is spin in circles :D
My favourite thing is leaping out of swings at their apex swinging although I stopped doing it after the trip to hospital with a bleeding head and amnesia around the event. Somehow, I think all of that is telling. :P
100% of male experts agree: nobody knows more about women’s issues like birth control than late-middle-aged men and the Republican party is well aware.
“It’s a scientific fact that women don’t show up on camera. That’s why Shakespeare had men play the women’s parts.”
I don’t know whether or not this is necessary, but I figured better safe than sorry, so I’m putting a tw on this for vague (not explicit) talk of menstruation, moderately explicit body hate language that is very specific and thorough, hinting at urges for SI brought on by an abusive situation, and overall depression.
I use gendered language in bits because this is my experiences, and the persons referenced in those experiences were cis male.
I attended the keynote speech from Mia Mingus for this weekends Femme’s of Color Symposium and this is a list I compiled pulled directly from MY experience listening to that speech, a performance piece, and crowd responses. You are under no obligation to agree or disagree with anything below as this is how I am defining my femmeness.
Do cry whenever you want
Don’t over analyze what that means to the point of exhaustion
Do wear as much or as little makeup as you’d like
Don’t worry to much when your mascara smears down your face from tears, sweat, work
Do put yourself in places where many people think you don’t fit
Don’t feel obligated to have to let everyone in to your personal space
Do give thanks and speak the names of those before you who have made your path that much more bearable
Don’t feel obligated to out-do anyone’s legacy
Do acknowledge that “femme” was your mother’s, your mother’s mother, and your mother’s mother’s mother
Don’t forget that your femme is yours, now
Do create art
Don’t feel obligated to “color inside the lines”
Do enjoy every curve, roll, hair, mole, scar on your body
Don’t hide any those things because of fear
Do practice conscious breathing to the point of letting every part of your chest and belly and face and whole body puff up and hang
Don’t suck it in Don’t suck it in DONT SUCK IT IN!
Do embrace your ugly, your freak, your weird
Don’t ever let others use your ugly, your freak, your weird as weapons against you
Do fuck up the bullshit that is normal, beautiful, pretty
Don’t ever believe not being those terms by “traditional” standards makes you less than
Do connect with everything around you, your body, your family, your soul
Don’t feel obligated to explain your femme to anyone or to yourself
Do fuck/have sex “femme”
Don’t fuck/ have sex “femme”
Do ask yourself questions as often as possible
Don’t feel obligated to know or have all the answers
Do continue to add or take away from this list
Don’t assume that this list applies to anyone else but youbolded my favorites.